“I don’t generally eat cheese nor drink wine. But I get that I’m in the extreme minority here. And that’s ok for me.”
This is what I found myself writing to a colleague a few days ago, in response to a suggestion that we hold regular Cheese & Wine events for our team.
In the not-so-distant past, I would have held my tongue. Wondered yet again if there was something (else) wrong with me. Seethed silently at the tyranny of the dominant story of society.
But recently I’ve found myself speaking up without angst, able to express my point of view in a neutral way, neither apologising for being strange, nor subtly accusing the other of being morally deficient.
It’s liberating.
The wonderfully wise Alain de Botton refers to this as a mini coming-out, and gently encourages us all to do it more:
There are constantly moments, when we might discover, in large areas and in small areas, in comedic areas and in serious areas, that we don’t fit the model of being normal that is sold to us.
And I think that a mature life, and a well-developed life, and a courageous life, is one in which – in as many areas as possible – we have a good sense of who we are and are able to take that out into the world and tell people about who we are, in ways that are not going to scare them and appal them, but hopefully interest them and lead them in turn to discover their own departures from the so-called ‘normal’, because this stuff is catching.
If somebody has the bravery to say, actually I don’t drink, or I like to sleep in a different way, or I fancy another person, or whatever it may be, then other people will discover that courage in themselves.
Which of your departures from the so-called normal might be ripe for a mini coming-out?