If in doubt, give the benefit of the doubt.
This used to be one of my mottos, deliberately voiced in my introductory 1-on-1s with any new colleague, be it team member, peer or manager (yes, I was working in a traditional hierarchical structure).
I’ve decided it’s time to update it to something a little punchier:
Assume Positive Intent.
It’s a phrase that’s been floating around for a while but I was reminded of it recently while listening to the irreverent and ever-insightful Michael Bungay Stanier.
I initially put it into my mental category of tools that help to transform my indignation into curiosity. But I’ve come to also see it as a powerful tool to bring out the best in others. It’s a form of what social psychologists call the Pygmalion Effect: when an expectation in our mind changes how the person we’re interacting with behaves, turning our belief into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In other words, we change others by how we choose to show up. If we approach every interaction as if the other person has positive intent, we may inadvertently nudge them towards that side of the spectrum, simply through the words that we end up using, the tone of our voice and subtle visual cues.
Who in your life might benefit most today from your assumption of their positive intent?