An undivided life

One of the reasons I left my corporate job was that I felt increasingly disconnected.

As the years went by, I simply couldn’t get on board with the idea that the ultimate purpose of my work was to make more profit for the organisation. That what was valued, above all, was efficiency, optimisation, productivity.

These are things that I value too, and that I can do. But as I became a manager and learnt to navigate the web of processes and systems in the organisation, I was faced with situation after situation in which what I felt instinctively was ‘right’ wasn’t the prescribed option. My approach to changing the culture from within wasn’t effective. Drained and depleted, I left.

A few months later, commenting on one of my posts, another classmate from the altMBA introduced me to Parker Palmer’s deeply moving work on the undivided life:

Sadly, most of us learn early on that it’s not safe to be in the world as who we really are with what we truly value and believe. […]

But then there comes a point in life when that divided life, that gap between who we really are and the face we put on for the larger world, becomes painful. […]

We have to find some way to try to close that gap. To build a bridge between our own identity and integrity as adults, and the work that we do in the world [so that] not only will we become more fulfilled in the work we do, but we’re much more likely to serve the people we want to serve better.

I was reminded of this several weeks later, reading Melinda Gates’ succinct advice to today’s young women:

Seek out people and environments that empower you to be nothing but yourself.

What does living an undivided life mean for you?

Serendipity

Something I’ve relished these past months about not being bound to a corporate job is that it’s naturally allowed space for me to explore thoughts that seem interesting.

I mentioned in my previous post that Seth Godin featured large in 2019 for me. Participating in his altMBA was such a life-affirming experience.

The basic structure is: read a prompt – discuss in a small group – post your response – comment on the work of others with empathy and generosity. And on one of those posts, a classmate left this comment: “I was introduced to a concept by my teammate yesterday called purposeful curiosity from a book called Working Out Loud.”

Interesting, I thought. I noted it down as yet another resource to explore once the workshop was over. (It was life-affirming and intense.)

If I were still in a corporate job, I suspect from past experience that that scribbled note from over 4 months ago would still be languishing in my notebook.

Instead, I looked it up, ordered the book, actually read it, and then thought: time to start a Working Out Loud Circle. I roped in my husband and my sister and we completed the 12-week cycle just before the end of last year.

There are so many things I love about what John Stepper has gifted to the world with his compassionate, actionable, step-by-step approach. If Seth Godin planted the seed in my brain for this blog, then John Stepper nurtured it beautifully. To the point that I am actually typing that I want Working Out Loud to become a habit for me this year.

As I prepare to go back to working in an office in the coming months, I will intentionally carve out space for my brain to wonder freely. For unplanned fortunate discoveries.

How are you inviting serendipity into your life?

Finally

I don’t usually have a problem getting stuff done.

But I have to admit that I’ve been putting off this first blog post since over 3 months ago, when I got a hold of this domain name.

Wanting it to be epic. Special. Like first anythings are supposed to be.

2019 was the year of Seth Godin for me. And since I decided to start blogging because of him, I thought I would check out his first blog. Here it is. From 18 years ago.

That got me to start typing a shitty first draft. But not actually shipping.

Until now. It’s not only a new year, but a new decade. That extra energy has given me just the push I need to get over the potential energy barrier that is my Resistance. To get over the hurdle of “the first”.

There. It’s done.

Hello World.

What are you starting this decade?