I decided at some point last month to post every week. Writing – and sharing what I write – is still new for me. Turning it into a habit will likely take a few months. Current behavioural science provides plenty of wisdom to increase the chance of this happening. Piggyback on an existing routine. Make it frictionless to do. And build in a dopamine hit when it’s done.
Despite my routine being disrupted (in the nicest way possible) these past few weeks while I’ve been on the road, I’d set everything up so that I could keep that weekly commitment. I posted on schedule the first week. And then the second. But by the third week, I was feeling uneasy. What’s more important here, I was asking myself. Is it spending the next couple of hours communing with my screen so that I can honour my commitment to myself (me, my, I)? Or is it being fully present with people I love and care about deeply, most of whom I seldom see? Using the language of character strengths, do I need to activate Perseverance, or Love?
This is, of course, like so many things, a false dichotomy. It’s not, and rarely is, a case of either-or. And Aristotle’s doctrine of the mean, or the Buddha’s noble eightfold path, to name just two wisdom traditions, remind us to be weary of dogma, of clinging rigidly to extremes.
Here, Perseverance was pushing me to maintain a streak. I decided to privilege Love, trusting that Perseverance would get me back on track once I was back at home. On the spectrum ranging from pushing through with my weekly commitment no matter what… to giving up at the first hurdle, I found the right balance. Not for everyone, and not for all situations. Just for me in this precise context.
How do you find the right balance in striving for your goals?